Lay Down the Law
Kids between 11-13 -- ages highly at risk for drug experimentation -- are increasingly independent. Despite their protests, they still crave structure and guidance; they want you to show them you care enough to set limits.
Create rules
Set a curfew.
Have kids check in
Call parents
Make it easy to leave
Listen to your instincts.
Don't be afraid to intervene if your gut reaction tells you that something is wrong. a party where drugs are being used. Discuss in advance how you or another designated adult will come to pick your child up the moment he or she feels uncomfortable. Make your expectations clear. Don't make empty threats or let the rule-breaker off the hook. Don't impose harsh or unexpected new punishments.
Praise and Reward
What encourages a kid more than his or her parents' approval? The right word at the right time can strengthen the bond that helps keep your child away from drugs.
Reward good behavior
Accentuate the positive.
Emphasize the things your kids' do right. Restrain the urge to be critical. Affection and respect -- making your child feel good about himself -- will reinforce good (and change bad) behavior far more successfully than embarrassment or uneasiness. consistently and immediately. Expressions of love, appreciation and thanks go a long way. Even kids who think themselves too old for hugs will appreciate a pat on the back or a special treat.
Be a role model; the person you want your kid to be. What stronger anti-drug message is there? For example, your child telling you they have had too much to drink or have tried marijuana. Thinking about these things in advance can help you keep your head if and when they do happen and to deal with them sensibly. This can set up a pattern that is difficult for your children to break later on.
Keep your own use of alcohol, medicines and other drugs within safe and sensible limits. Parents can help each other by getting together to talk about their worries and by agreeing to handle some problems in the same way. Remind them that we all have to "watch each other's backs". Being a bully never gets you anywhere, but asserting your need for information about what your child is doing, or for certain rules around the house will help to remind your teenager that you are a person too.
You are legally and financially responsible for the behavior of your teen, so you have the right to get all the facts that you can. Know that as your child grows up, many rules need to be reviewed regularly and probably relaxed bit by bit. Your child is on the way to becoming an adult and needs some freedom. Let them know that by assuring you (with regular testing) that they are not succumbing to peer pressure, that you are able to allow them more freedom.
They will be more willing to share their problems with you if they feel they can trust you. There is no substitute for being loved. This will enable you to answer questions that your children ask and to work out your own views about drugs well before you have to discuss the issues with them. Many schools and community groups now run special drug education programs for parents. There are lots of great drug education resources on the Internet.. It is your business if your child is using drugs
Be honest! Tell your child that you are concerned and want to drug test. It gives them a reason to talk to you about drugs, and provides a socially acceptable reason not to experiment with drugs-
John P. Walters, director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, said "If our schools and parents were to utilize recognized, successful intervention techniques, including drug testing, we would be able to identify these youth and get them the counseling and treatment they need to turn away from drug use".
Parents don't like to imagine that it could be "their child" using drugs. Studies show that while only 18% of parents believe that their teen has tried drugs, 53% of high school seniors actually admit to some drug use. Most "my parents test me".
Graphic Guide to Illegal Drugs
Check out this link. This is an awesome interactive graphic done by USA Today...very educational...I hope they don't mind that I have linked to it!
Don't be afraid to ask questions.
Try to be there after school when you child gets home.
Eat together as often as you can.
Meals are a great opportunity to talk about the day's events, to unwind, reinforce, bond. Studies show that kids whose families eat together at least 5 times a week are less likely to be involved with drugs or alcohol. The "danger zone" for drug use is between 4 and 6pm, when no one is around Arrange flexible time at work whenever you can. If your child will be with friends, ideally they have adult supervision -- not just an older sibling.
Ask where your kids are going, whom they'll be with and what they'll be doing. Get to know your kid's friends -- and their parents -- so you're familiar with their activities.
Establish a regular weekly routine for doing something special with your child -- even something as simple as going out for ice cream.
Learn to Communicate
Do you know your kid's favorite music group? What's cool at school? The more you communicate, the more at ease your child will feel about discussing drugs and other sensitive issues with you.
Be absolutely clear
Be a better listener.
Give honest answers.
Use TV reports,
Don't react
Role-play with your child and practice ways to refuse drugs and alcohol in different situations. Acknowledge how tough these moments can be. in a way that will cut off further discussion. If your child makes statements that challenge or shock you, turn them into a calm discussion of why your child thinks people use drugs, or whether the effort is worth the risk.
anti-drug commercials, news or school discussions about drugs to help you introduce the subject in a natural, unforced way. Don't make up what you don't know; offer to find out. If asked whether you've ever taken drugs, let them know what's important: that you don't want them using drugs.
Ask questions -- and encourage them. Paraphrase what your child is saying to you. Ask for their input about family decisions. Showing your willingness to listen will make your child feel more comfortable about opening up to you. Tell your kids that you don't want them using drugs. Ever. Anywhere. Don't leave room for interpretation. And talk often about the dangers and results of drug and alcohol abuse. Once or twice a year won't do it.
Walk the walk.
Be a living, day-to-day example
Know that there is no such thing
Examine your own behavior.
If you abuse drugs or alcohol, know that your kids are inevitably going to pick up on it. Or if you laugh uproariously at a movie when someone is drunk or stoned, what message does that send to your child? as "do as I say, not as I do" when it comes to drugs. If you take drugs, you can't expect your child to take your advice. Seek professional help if necessary. Stick to your value system. Show the compassion, honesty, generosity and openness you want your child to have.
Lay Down the Law
Kids between 11-13 -- ages highly at risk for drug experimentation -- are increasingly independent. Despite their protests, they still crave structure and guidance; they want you to show them you care enough to set limits.
Create rules
Set a curfew.
Have kids check in
Call parents
Make it easy to leave
Listen to your instincts.
Don't be afraid to intervene if your gut reaction tells you that something is wrong. a party where drugs are being used. Discuss in advance how you or another designated adult will come to pick your child up the moment he or she feels uncomfortable. Make your expectations clear. Don't make empty threats or let the rule-breaker off the hook. Don't impose harsh or unexpected new punishments.
Praise and Reward
What encourages a kid more than his or her parents' approval? The right word at the right time can strengthen the bond that helps keep your child away from drugs.
Reward good behavior
Accentuate the positive.
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